When I read / hear each “MeToo” story I realize that somewhere deep down inside there is a fear which instead of stopping the abuser, makes us go through the abuse helplessly.
This fear could be of being physically hurt or hurting our loved ones, distrust about our protectors such as parents, authorities or legal systems etc. and others not believing us and blaming us for the event.
When I compare us with animals I think how strange is this! Even a small kitten when cornered gives a tough fight. Animals fight until they kill or die. And we – the most intelligent specie on the earth – human beings instead of using our intellect to fight back, allow ourselves go through the nonsense. And then carry the pain and guilt further suffering.
No matter how physically strong we are, our mind if in confusion, makes us vulnerable.
When I explore deeper I realize, our social conditioning and education from childhood is solely responsible for this.
We teach our children to care for others but don’t teach them how they can take care of themselves.
We teach them not to hurt others but don’t teach them how to protect themselves from others hurting them.
And most importantly we protect and nurture our fears rather than our strengths.
Trying to fit into a group, or certain cultural or social norms makes us lose our own individual strengths.
When I look back in the situations when I was cornered by someone, sometimes I used my physical strength and sometimes my intelligence to get out of the situation. Sometimes it was the social fear that I used against the predator or used his/her vulnerability against him/her and got myself out.
My intention here is not of boasting or even passing a judgement on others, as I am clearly aware that I was damn lucky that my strategy worked somehow.
But I also give the credit of this to my parents, teachers and other few olders around me who showed me positively how olders should be with children. When children experience responsibility, protection, trust, love and care from their olders, they can identify if someone is not being nice.
Parents must also speak to children on all the subjects and there should not be any taboo subjects in home. Especially in the age of puberty children are themselves confused with their own hormonal changes. Their own physical attraction towards opposite sex creates curiosity and pedofiles take advantage of this confused state of such a child.
A dirty touch or look is quickly recognized by a child and if such a child has a safe home environment will somehow manage to get out of a dangerous situation to run home. At such time if children are able to share this event with parents and get the right support by holding them close and assuring them that they are not wrong and they can trust that parents will always protect them, a child will learn to protect him/herself much better. Learning and growth is magnanimous from a negative experience than a positive one. But requires proper post-analysis and higher understanding. Which only a grown up person can give to children.
But that isn’t enough. It is also very important that we expose and punish the sexual abusers / molesters etc. publicly even when they may be our close relatives etc. so children feel protected not just at home but also in society in general and the bad elements get a lesson for their own life.
I feel extremely sorry for children who are abused by their own parents or their guardians.
A society which tolerates abuse of week cannot be called a civilized society. Might is right is a Jungle law. Human law is based on strongers taking care of weekers. Smarters using their smartness for the benefit of all especially less smart ones.
I will be writing more on this as this is a very deep subject and every one of us must introspect on it and share our thoughts and views.
Creating a safe society for everyone of my responsibility.
anando 
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